It was recommended, as an Autistic/PDAer/ADHDer to share about my pregnancy journey. All of it. So let’s do this.

Catch up.

I am currently a mother to two young twins, E and V. They were my seventh pregnancy (too many losses and heartbreak) and were ultimately conceived using Clomid and remained using progesterone. (I remained on progesterone until I was just over 36 weeks pregnant with them.)

Current situation. (May 28)

We have been happy to conceive beginning last summer. I went off coffee, and discontinued retinal use and anything else that may be harmful to a fetus. Truth be told, I’m a bit crunchy, so the coffee and retinal were pretty much it. Nothing happened and I had anxiety due to the losses before E and V. So my OB prescribed progesterone (100mg) to take during the two-week wait (the time between ovulation and waiting to get a positive or negative pregnancy test).

Still nothing.

I actually started to realize progesterone, or rather the length I was taking it, was not helping on the conceiving end and looked like it was preventing ovulation.

So Clomid it was.

We did one cycle of Clomid (50mg), estrogen (1mg), and progesterone (200mg).

Nothing.

Having conceived and carried E and V full-term on the first cycle I was (am) a little sad–but I’m reminded that I have two children and what a gift that is. There are so many others who dream to be where I am and I won’t allow a negative pregnancy test (or five) take away from what I have.

Yesterday I began our second Clomid cycle.

Like with the first, I prepare for emotions and feelings that I am otherwise not familiar with, as someone with emotional agnosia. So I do my best to accommodate possibilities. One thing I do is rotate my children’s materials on their shelves, in case I am low energy or have lower patience. I make sure I have beloved items for them in the living area closet, for a quick grab if necessary.

It’s not uncommon for neurodivergent people to lack the ability to mask during hormonal changes such as periods, pregnancies, and treatments. (No, we shouldn’t feel the need to mask, but after 30 years it feels safest.)